Friday, December 21, 2007
Why Taking Responsibility is the Most Important Step to Your Health and Well-Being
There is something that great leaders, respected mentors and those people who always seem to be happy have in common, and that’s something called personal responsibility. People who accept responsibility, embrace it even, are inevitably those who are admired, who are independent and who ultimately persevere. These are the people who admit when they’ve made a mistake, apologize when it’s necessary, and, above all else, take the “blame” for how their life is, for good and for bad.
Admittedly, the prospect of taking responsibility can be scary. After all, who wants to be held accountable if things go awry? In reality, though, the very act of NOT taking responsibility will leave you much worse off than the alternative, and here’s why: Only when you take responsibility -- for your health, your mindset, your happiness and your life -- will you be able to achieve your dreams.
You Make Choices, and Your Choices Have Consequences
Consider it from a child’s perspective. A primary thing parents teach their children is to have responsibilities, everything from doing their homework or household chores to treating their classmates with kindness. If something goes wrong, such as forgetting to do a homework assignment or talking behind a friend’s back, there are consequences and (and this is the important part) the child is held accountable.
For every choice you make, there is a consequence. Taking responsibility means that you acknowledge your role in the chain of events, you have a good idea why it happened, and you know what to do to change your actions (or how to keep them as they are) in the future to get your desired outcome.
The “Victim” Mentality
People who frequently shirk responsibility often fall into a “victim” mentality. It is everyone’s fault that they are not happy (not getting a promotion, not succeeding in their marriage, not getting to appointments on time, etc.) -- except for their own. Surely, there will be times when things are not your fault, and you may even be thinking of some of those times right now (such as “But I DID lose the promotion because my boss chose to promote his brother instead … ”). But taking responsibility does not mean you are always at fault, only that you acknowledge your part and let it go (meaning you do not perpetually blame others).
Those who have succumbed to the victim mentality, however, often exhibit the following characteristics:
• You believe you’re unlucky, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
• You think you are pretty much always right (and others would concur that you believe this).
• You rarely, if ever, apologize.
• You often feel sorry for yourself.
• You believe if others are acting poorly, you can too (i.e., “If Bob comes in late every day, why can’t I?”)
What you’ll notice about these characteristics is that they’re surrounded by negativity. And, in fact, people who don’t take responsibility are often harboring this negativity in themselves -- in the form of sadness, hopelessness, anger, depression, anxiety, fear, guilt, insecurity and a host of other negative emotions.
Over time, and even in the short-term, holding on to such negative thoughts can lead to chronic stress and, from there, chronic disease.
Ready to Take Responsibility? Here are the Steps You Need to Take
The great thing about taking responsibility is that it opens the door to anything you want. You get to decide what in your life you want to keep and what should go. How does one get to this point? It’s really quite simple. Begin by letting go of the negative emotions and self-limiting beliefs that are causing you to be stuck in a victim mentality. The Sedona Method is a scientifically proven tool that will show you how to do this very naturally and it will become second nature.
The Sedona Method is unique in that it helps you get in touch with your natural ability to let go of any painful or unwanted feeling in the moment. We ALL have this ability, however so many of us are too bogged down by negative emotions to really use it. Once you ask yourself the series of questions that make up the Method, you will be able to release the need you once had to blame others and instead will take personal responsibility.
The best part is, once you FEEL you are in charge (instead of a victim), you will ACT like you are in charge, and your life will act accordingly. You will also find that you can easily adopt the following positive traits of people who take responsibility, including:
• Accepting when you’re wrong and apologizing
• Asking others for help when you need it
• Having empathy for others
• Admitting when you’ve made a mistake
• Forgiving others easily
• Being open-minded to the opinions of others
• Believing that your life is meant to be great
And remember, once you let go of self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviors with The Sedona Method, your life will be limitless in the happiness, health and wellbeing it will create for you and those around you.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Finding Your Amusement
What makes you smile inside and out, tickles your funny bone, and brings you to bursts of laughter? We all know the benefits of laughter. It gets our energy flowing, massages our internal organs, boosts our immune system and most important, feels wonderful. So what gets in the way of being amused more often? Why don't we see the humour in everything instead of being easily irritated, annoyed, or frustrated?
We don't need something funny to happen to feel amused inside. People who breeze through life, slough off problems with ease, and accept life's ups and downs with a chuckle are living in a state of amusement. Just as the endless blue sky lies behind every cloud, a blanket of lightness lies behind each of our thoughts, perceptions and feelings. All we have to do is tune into it and turn up the volume.
Imagine what your life would be like if you approached each day, each person, each task and each problem from a lighter amused state. Would you enjoy your day more, relate better with others, move through your work easier and find more creative solutions? You bet! And now imagine the ripple effect this would have on your relationships, family, work, and beyond.
To find your amusement, reflect on the following:
* What is your default mood - the state of being you tend to live in on a regular basis? Do you operate from a stance of anger, depression, joy, victim-hood, amusement, peacefulness, fear or what? If you're not sure, ask yourself how your friends and family would generally describe you as this may give you an indication. Is this the default state you want? If not, what would you choose?
* Who or what controls your state or mood? Is it dependant on others around you, circumstance or do you bring forth your own true self no matter what is going on around you?
* What gets in the way of you being amused more often? What would you have to let go of in order to lighten up? What would you have to accept? What would your life be like if you had more amusement?
To increase your amusment, try the following:
* Many people are offended by many things and all this does is put them in a bad mood. You can choose to be amused instead of offended. The next time you are about to judge something or someone (including yourself) ask yourself how you want to feel. Then ask how you can view this person or situation in order to feel this way.
* Practice being in a state of amusement - it is a simple flow of energy that you can control. Imagine turning up a dial for amusement in your body. Let the energy of amusement vibrate through your whole body, inside and out. Imagine all of your cells are laughing with each other. Notice how you feel when you do this.
* Each day when you wake up set your intention to go through the day in a sate of amusement. If you find yourself getting off track into negativity, focus on the feeling of amusement again. If you need to, think of something funny to jump start this flow and let it grow from there. Notice how your life changes when you operate from a place of amusement.
Courage Prevails
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Find Your Authentic Self
For most of us, discovering the core of who we really are and what we want our lives to be is a more difficult task than getting an orchid to bloom a second time. It's an individual journey, and Bradd Shore, Ph.D., of Emory University suggests beginning by asking yourself:
- What gives my life meaning?
- What are my priorities?
The Payoffs
The late Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique rocked our world in the early 1960s, laying the groundwork for modern feminism. Friedan said women should aspire to their own identities as individuals and should answer the questions, "Who am I?" and "What do I want out of life?" More than 40 years later, the questions are more relevant than ever.
The struggle to express – let alone find – one's authentic self can be a complicated and individual journey. Beyond knowing and accepting thyself, one has to be skilled at expressing that truth, recognizing there might be a price to pay with either choice: the straight path of authenticity or the zigzag trail of situational roles, choosing behaviors that serve the moment.
In his new book, Covering: The Hidden Assault on Our Civil Rights (Random House, January 2006), Yale law professor Kenji Yoshino writes about women practicing what he calls "covering" – downplaying aspects of themselves (i.e., motherhood) they know may be viewed as less than acceptable in the workplace. Civil rights, he says, aren't just about your right to be yourself, but also your right to reveal yourself as you are. He believes that "covering" is the way that many groups are being held back today.
Counsel from Authentic Women
- "Don't be so afraid of standing out that you become invisible. I see far too many women being invisible. Yet being distinctive is an absolute career advantage." –Margaret Heffernan, author of The Naked Truth
- "Decide whether you're doing something to please yourself or to meet the expectations of your parents, your husband or society. Make decisions based on enduring values and what you want. Otherwise, it's like marrying the wrong guy." –Lynne Seid, former president of global advertising firm Foote Cone & Belding's New York office; founding partner, Visible World
- "If your style is validated either through your employees or your business results, then hold your ground. Obviously, there's merit in it." –Kathleen Holmgren, senior vice president and general manager of Sun Microsystems' $1 billion disk storage business
- "Organizations are beginning to realize the strength of what women bring to the table, and that they get to the table in a different way. Don't downplay who you are. Instead, leverage your unique qualities." –Debra Boblitt, a vice president with State Farm Insurance
- "Success is more attributable to making good choices rather than relying on momentum. If you're in a company where you're not being respected for your talents, go to another company." –Karen Steadman, Ph.D., vice president of a consulting firm
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Why It’s Important to Follow Your Heart
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Why ACTION is The Most Relevant Beginning to Every Success Process
By Larry Tansinda
How often do you make plans and hope that God will help? The real truth is that we all wish and hope, but do we really believe we can attain what we wish and hope for? More often than not, as human beings, we run into different situations at different times and our wishes depend on what the reality of the situations is.
How many times are we in financial, emotional, family, health or any other not so good challenges and immediately wish and hope the situation was reversed? Challenges of any kind all call for the concept of taking ACTION.
ACTION in my opinion is doing whatever it takes within reason with the intention of achieving whatever you wish for yourself to alleviate a specific challenge you may be facing. Therefore, if you have an emotional, family, health or financial difficulty, there are a certain number of steps or processes required to get out of that situation. It is how you condition your mind that makes the biggest difference. The following constitute those steps necessary to bring about change.
- Belief
- Conviction
- Positive mindset
- Action
Belief: It is fair to say that when driving a car, you believe that when approaching a stoplight, all you have to do is step on the brake pedal and that will bring the motor vehicle to a halt. That belief is without a doubt because more often than not, it happens exactly as intended each time. You believe without a doubt that reading the owner’s manual of any equipment and using that equipment accordingly will give you the desired effect. Part of the reason why we do this is because we are relying on someone other than ourselves and tend to have more faith in others. Therefore, is it possible then to believe that the actions we take can really get us out of the challenges we face? The answer is a YES in my opinion, because whatever you believe in, can yield the fruits of your intention.
Conviction: Everyone has a certain conviction about what they do and believe in. In the same strand, if you are convinced that your actions will result in a certain outcome, you are already in the process of changing your situation. Considering that in life, there is always going to be a good and bad, love and hate, night and day, beginning and end etc as is defined in the law of Polarity, it only makes sense to maintain a strong conviction that your action will bring you the intended results despite all the odds. Focusing on that which you don’t want alternately doesn’t help your desires because you will only attract more of what you don’t want.
Positive mindset: How many times do we say, “I can’t do this or that,” or that “why am I wasting my time about this…” “…This person or that person tried and failed” etc , etc. We create these situations in our minds and rationalize why things are the way they are without changing. It is amazing why we are surprised thereafter! Do you realize it is easier to be negative than positive in life? If you make a conscious effort to see something positive out of every situation, as time progresses, you will live a life of always attracting the positive things and thoughts.
Action: If you believe, and are convinced or maintain a positive mind set, you still have to begin an action process to complete the journey. Action means that you face the challenge truthfully even if it is embarrassing or difficult, seek the necessary steps through specific actions and before long, you will see results. Therefore, if you have a financial challenge, take steps such as documenting where you are spending money and cut down on your expenses, get a second job to pay down debt, stop eating out etc, etc. When you start doing these things, the combination of believing, conviction and having a positive mindset will generate the right thoughts in your endeavor and as a result attract the right directives which will eventually conquer whatever it is you are trying to change.
If on the other hand, you have an unpleasant job situation, instead of negatively complaining and getting all bitter about everything others are doing, start taking action. Use the ingredients (BCPA) and design an exit strategy for yourself. It could be more education, learning a new skill or talking to someone who has or is where you want to be.
You may not see these results immediately, but I can testify for a fact that being consistent and focused on BCPA will ultimately get you there.
How many people have bothered to ask why so many immigrants to the United States have been able to within 2 – 5 years upon arrival achieve what so many are still struggling to have despite the same or better opportunities? It is not all about luck. It is consciously or unconsciously adapting a BCPA strategy. What about babies growing up? Some decide to walk in 7 or 8 months while others go for up to 14 months. It comes down to believing it can be done. When you watch babies attempting to walk, you can see the determination in their demeanor and know this is something they want to do themselves. Think about the first time your child decided to ride a bicycle without training wheels. The same principle holds true if we need to get out of uncomfortable situations.
Change is a necessary deviation from our comfort level and if you have to become something different from what you are used to, it is necessary to face your fears, believe in yourself like you do your car, then act.
Remember that the Universe is everything and therefore you are protected within that universe because you are part of it. What it really takes is your mind and how you control it. Positive thoughts will attract positive outcomes. In fact, your mind is like a computer, it will pull files that are stored in it. If you have positive files only those will be retrieved when you do a search. Similarly, if you have only negative files (thoughts), the mind has no choice but to pull from that data source.