The Impact of Dressing Too Sexy at Work

By: Tamara Aw, Founder & Director of MEG Staffing

Over the years, I have worked at various places of employment where many of my female counterparts regularly dressed as if they were ready for a night on the town versus a day at the office. While sexy attire is great for shaking it on the dance floor, it is not appropriate in a place of business.

Many females mistakenly believe that the attention they get from dressing sexy on the job will translate into promotions and increased career opportunities. More often than not, the exact opposite occurs and dressing too sexy at work drastically hinders career advancement.

I admit that I once adhered to the "if you've got it, flaunt it" mantra when it came to work attire. During that time, I routinely found myself stuck in low paying jobs that I hated. The career opportunities presented to me were rarely challenging and I would quickly become frustrated and bored. I knew I was smart and capable of much more and could not understand why others did not see it.

It was while working in the Event Services department of the largest convention hotel in DC that I had my "Aha!" moment. During the early part of my tenure there, tight pants, low cut tops, short skirts and sexy pumps were on regular rotation in my office wardrobe. I reveled in the reactions I would receive from my male coworkers, including those in upper management. They would buy me lunches, birthday cards and presents, Christmas gifts and other trinkets. I loved the admiration and special treatment I received. What I did not love was the fact that I was passed over for one opportunity after the other even when I was clearly qualified for the positions. A manager actually laughed dismissively when I mentioned applying for a higher position within the company. I realized that while I received plenty of attention, it was not the kind I needed nor truly desired. It was clear that I was not being taken seriously.

I began comparing myself to the women in the company who commanded respect and achieved career success. The differences between me and them were so glaring that I was shocked I had not noticed earlier. These women were sharp. They oozed classiness. They dressed professionally, spoke professionally, carried themselves professionally, they were what I wanted to become. These were the women I had wrongly assumed were "jealous" of me because of all the attention I garnered. I shamefully realized that they were not jealous, they simply did not believe I was on their level and preferred not to interact with me. It took a lot of soul searching and looking in the mirror, but I realized that if I wanted to change the perception people had of me, I would have to present a more professional and classy image.

Almost immediately after altering my attire and beginning to "dress for success", I noticed a shift in the way I was treated. The responses from my managers and coworkers, both male and female, were instantaneous. Several managers pulled me aside to tell me how much my quality of work had improved. I swear to you that I did not change my working habits at all, but since my outward appearance was more professional, they perceived my work as more professional as well. In meetings, colleagues and managers would literally turn to me and ask my opinion on various matters. I was totally floored...this had never happened before. It was as if everyone suddenly discovered I had a brain.

As the treatment I received continued to improve, a funny thing happened. I began behaving in a more professional manner and expecting more of myself for my life and career. Shortly thereafter I received a raise and a promotion to the Executive Office reporting to the General Manager. I ended up leaving that company several months later in order to begin a new career with a firm that paid me an unbelievable 40% more in salary per year.

A very wise and successful woman, who just happens to be my mother, had this to say when I brought up the topic of how one should dress for work, "you should always dress for the job you want, not the one you have." My story illustrates the truth of her words. I am convinced that had I continued to dress too sexy for work, I would have remained stuck toiling away in low paying dead end jobs.

Read the article below to see what Kate Lorenz, Editor of CareerBuilder.com has to say on the subject.

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Are You Too Sexy For Your Job?

Warning: Too much cleavage can be hazardous to your career.... and there's science to prove it. Dressing sexy can have negative affects at work especially the higher you climb on the ladder, according to a recent University of Lawrence study led by professor Peter Glick. The study found that risqué dress on the job is viewed as inappropriate for those in all positions. Managers who dressed provocatively, however, were perceived less intelligent and less competent, while those in lower level positions (like receptionists) were not. The study also suggests that women who wear racy clothing are perceived as using their sexuality to advance professionally. "Although various media directed toward women... encourage women to emphasize their sex appeal, our results suggest that women in high-status occupations may have to resist this siren call to obtain the respect of their co-workers," Glick concludes. So what can happen if you dress provocatively at work? This past year we saw two high-profile cases involving women who were deemed too sexy for their jobs. Harvard librarian Desiree Goodwin, who holds two advanced degrees from Cornell University, charged that she was passed over for promotion 16 times because of her attire and physical attractiveness. Goodwin claimed the jobs she sought were given to women with less experience and education and that a supervisor told her she was perceived as a "pretty girl" who wore "sexy outfits." Meanwhile, on the shores of the Adriatic Sea, Caterina Bonci, a Roman Catholic religion teacher, said she was fired from her job at a state-run school for being too sexy. (The school principal said both parents and teachers complained about her high hemlines and ample décolletage.) "In the 14 years I had this job, I have always been attacked by my female colleagues and the rest of the staff because of my attractiveness," Bonci told the Italian media. "And if you consider that at our parent-teacher meetings it was always the fathers who came to see me, one can see why I have so often been at the center of attention and a target of gossip." Bonci failed to win her job back; Goodwin not only lost her civil case, but also received a bill for Harvard's legal costs. Fair or not, courts around the country are upholding employers' rights to ban "sexy" dressing in the workplace. Just how do the courts define "sexy?" According to Eric Matusewitch, deputy director of the New York City Equal Employment Practices Commission, the courts consider "sexy" attire to be clothing that is particularly revealing and of extreme fit, as well as excessive use of makeup. To those who argue that this discriminates against women, Matusewitch replies, "The code applies equally to both sexes. So, if employers require men to dress conservatively, they can require women to avoid tight, flashy and revealing outfits as well." With the current "skin is in" fashions and the media full of images that suggest provocative dress is acceptable -- even desirable -- in the workplace, how can you make sure you don't cross the line? Here are some guidelines: Skirts: Too little is too much. Skirt lengths should be no more than one hand-width above the knee. Tops: Make sure there is at least one-inch of room between body and fabric and that it is long enough to conceal your midriff. Stomach, breasts, back and shoulders should be covered. Fabric should not be overly sheer and a bra should be worn (with no straps revealed). Dresses: No halter tops or cleavage-baring necklines. Avoid overly snug fits. Again, hemlines should hit no more than one hand-width above the knee. Pants: Shun overly tight or hip-hugger pants that expose the midriff. Stick with neutral colors. Shoes: Heels should be no higher than two inches; toe should be closed. Avoid strappy styles, bright colors and patterns. Hair: Keep your hair sleek and off your face. Avoid the teased, over-processed look. Makeup: Keep it clean and natural. Avoid heavy eyeliner or evening lipsticks. "If you flaunt your figure in a professional setting, colleagues and clients may question your judgment or make unflattering assumptions about your character," warns Susan Roane, lecturer, author and business etiquette expert. "Clothing and appearance are visual shorthand. The point is to be noticed for your business skills, not your short skirts or push-up bra. "If you want a job, dress the part. If you want to show off your body... well, that's what your free time is for." Kate Lorenz is the article and advice editor for CareerBuilder.com. She researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues.

When an Employer Just Is Not That Into You

by Liz Ryan
provided by BusinessWeek.com

No one ever said a white-collar job search was easy. There's nothing relaxing or carefree about tracking down corporate recruiters, following up on interviews, and playing phone tag for days with overstressed HR people and hiring managers. Job hunting is grueling, mentally and emotionally.

But if you think about job searching the same way you would planting seeds, you'll have a different perspective. Every gardener knows that many of the seeds he plants will get eaten by birds. Others will shrivel and die. But gardeners don't waste time tracking the progress of every seed or nurturing those that just won't thrive. They water the garden and see what grows. It's the same with a job search; not everything we do will bear fruit. The tough part is knowing when to give up on the seed that isn't going anywhere.

Employers don't like to send "No, Thank You" letters. They'll wait until the last minute, until the selected candidate (not you) has started work, or even later, before telling the rest of the pack, "We hired someone else." It's a shabby way to treat people and one of my least favorite corporate practices.

So you have to be alert earlier in the process for signs that you're not a front-runner for the job. It's easy to get stuck in the rut of continual and pointless follow-up, no matter how lackluster (or absent) the company's response. Here are some signs that they're just not that into you, and you'd be better served pursuing other opportunities:

1. Silence After Initial Contact

Let's say you get a voice mail from a company recruiter, and you in turn leave three voice mails without a response. That typically means the company recruiter made a bunch of phone calls to track down likely candidates and didn't reach you, but did reach four or five other people. Of those four or five, let's say three of the folks were great fits for the job.

What's her incentive to follow up with you? Very little, if any. If a series of callbacks elicits no response, leave one more message saying, "It seems that you're going in another direction with your search. Best of luck to you, and I'll assume that you're not interested in me at this point." Then, don't call back anymore. If they want you, they can find you.

2. Difficulty Scheduling a Phone Screen

Recruiters are as time-pressed as anyone else. When they have something they need to get done, they want to do it now. When someone calls you hoping to conduct a phone screen with you, they pray you're at home and ready to chat with them at that moment. If you're busy or unprepared, it's fine to schedule a phone screen for later in the week. But if they say, "I'll call you back to schedule your phone interview," that's a bad sign. There's a high probability they won't. And if you find that you're wasting calls and e-mail messages getting that phone screen scheduled, they're talking to other people they're more excited about. Let them go.

3. Last-Minute Interview Changes

Perhaps you're scheduled to come in and meet Joe, Javier, and Sandra. The day before the interview, there's a change: Joe and Sandra aren't available, so you're going to meet Cindy and Mohamed. When you get to the company, another change -- you're going to see Janice, or is it Janelle? -- the temp who's working in marketing. Lots of interview changes are a bad sign. Every company pays attention to its urgent items and lets others slide. If your interview feels like an afterthought, it's probably because after they scheduled you to come in they found the world's perfect candidate (not you) for the job.

4. Delay in Post-Interview Contact

Every corporate manager and HR person is overbooked, so we'll give them a week to collect their thoughts. The second week is when they should be scheduling people for second interviews, if it hasn't happened earlier. By the third week, you have to conclude that one of two things is true: Either your interview didn't make anyone's heart beat faster, or they're so disorganized (and discourteous) that you really don't want to work there anyway.

If you've sent a polite post-interview thank-you letter and left a follow-up voice mail or two, but find yourself sitting in RadioSilenceLand three weeks later, it's time to move on. You could get bumped at any point in the process: after your phone screen, after your HR interview, or after you meet the hiring manager. Rather than exhaust yourself following up on a dead seed, acknowledge the brush-off and move on.

5. Too Many Changes in the Process

You phone-interviewed for a sales engineer position, working under Stan. When they brought you in for a face-to-face interview. it had morphed into a product engineer position in Stella's group. Now they want you in again, to meet with Jared for an applications engineer position.

At this point, stop the action and request a live phone call with the person you feel most comfortable with in these conversations. Ask him or her, "What's going on?" With luck, you'll get a straight answer: A big reorganization is under way, or they love you and they're trying to find a spot that is actually budgeted to be filled this month. Don't stay in the process if you can't get anyone to level with you. Companies who play bait-and-switch are very often employers who value their employees' needs little, if at all.

6. Slow Follow-Up After Second Interview

By the time you've made two trips to an employer's facility, you're well invested in the process. If they are too, they should tell you. You should hear from a company within three or four business days following a second interview, and recruiters should be brimming with enthusiasm in their follow-up phone calls or e-mails.

If that's not the case, give them a heads-up that you've got other fish to fry; give them another day to fill you in on where you stand in their process, and then walk away. Just leave a voice mail saying, "I'm under the impression that you didn't find a good match between my background and the position we discussed; if I'm wrong about that, please let me know today. Otherwise, I'll close the file."

7. Delay in Extending the Offer

With corporate rigmarole being what it is, it's hard to get an offer letter approved these days. There may be a few days' delay between the call that says, "We really like you! Let's talk terms!" and the arrival of a written offer letter. A few days means three or four days, max. If you've been waiting a week-and-a-half and you haven't heard an update, you're being insulted. They don't think it's worth their time to pick up the phone and explain what obstacles they're running into -- or maybe they've lost interest.

You'll just have to cool your heels and wonder about that. That's a terrible sign, and a big signal to find a more communicative employer.

Talk to people at your gym, on the train, or at your next neighborhood barbecue, and you'll hear more than one story that ends with, "I should have paid attention to the red flags in the interview process." You'll hear it from people who failed to walk away when they should have, and wasted weeks or months being insulted by uncommunicative prospective employers.

You'll hear it from people who waited patiently for a disappointing offer, and from people who lived to regret accepting a job with an employer who executed a poorly run interview process.

You seldom hear from people, "I walked away when that company blew me off, and I wish I hadn't."

Baby boomers are retiring every day, and companies need talent. You need an employer who will treat you like a professional, and not a cog in its engine. Put your energy in pursuing the right job. Remember, not every seed is meant to grow.

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