Michael Beckwith - Challenges in Life

Why Taking Responsibility is the Most Important Step to Your Health and Well-Being

By Hale Dwoskin, New York Times Best-Selling author of The Sedona Method, and co-author of the best-selling Happiness Is Free (five-book series) is the CEO and Director of Training of Sedona Training Associates and anxiety expert. He is also one of the 24 featured teachers of the book and movie phenomenon, The Secret.

There is something that great leaders, respected mentors and those people who always seem to be happy have in common, and that’s something called personal responsibility. People who accept responsibility, embrace it even, are inevitably those who are admired, who are independent and who ultimately persevere. These are the people who admit when they’ve made a mistake, apologize when it’s necessary, and, above all else, take the “blame” for how their life is, for good and for bad.

Admittedly, the prospect of taking responsibility can be scary. After all, who wants to be held accountable if things go awry? In reality, though, the very act of NOT taking responsibility will leave you much worse off than the alternative, and here’s why: Only when you take responsibility -- for your health, your mindset, your happiness and your life -- will you be able to achieve your dreams.

You Make Choices, and Your Choices Have Consequences

Consider it from a child’s perspective. A primary thing parents teach their children is to have responsibilities, everything from doing their homework or household chores to treating their classmates with kindness. If something goes wrong, such as forgetting to do a homework assignment or talking behind a friend’s back, there are consequences and (and this is the important part) the child is held accountable.

For every choice you make, there is a consequence. Taking responsibility means that you acknowledge your role in the chain of events, you have a good idea why it happened, and you know what to do to change your actions (or how to keep them as they are) in the future to get your desired outcome.

The “Victim” Mentality

People who frequently shirk responsibility often fall into a “victim” mentality. It is everyone’s fault that they are not happy (not getting a promotion, not succeeding in their marriage, not getting to appointments on time, etc.) -- except for their own. Surely, there will be times when things are not your fault, and you may even be thinking of some of those times right now (such as “But I DID lose the promotion because my boss chose to promote his brother instead … ”). But taking responsibility does not mean you are always at fault, only that you acknowledge your part and let it go (meaning you do not perpetually blame others).

Those who have succumbed to the victim mentality, however, often exhibit the following characteristics:

• You believe you’re unlucky, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

• You think you are pretty much always right (and others would concur that you believe this).

• You rarely, if ever, apologize.

• You often feel sorry for yourself.

• You believe if others are acting poorly, you can too (i.e., “If Bob comes in late every day, why can’t I?”)

What you’ll notice about these characteristics is that they’re surrounded by negativity. And, in fact, people who don’t take responsibility are often harboring this negativity in themselves -- in the form of sadness, hopelessness, anger, depression, anxiety, fear, guilt, insecurity and a host of other negative emotions.

Over time, and even in the short-term, holding on to such negative thoughts can lead to chronic stress and, from there, chronic disease.

Ready to Take Responsibility? Here are the Steps You Need to Take

The great thing about taking responsibility is that it opens the door to anything you want. You get to decide what in your life you want to keep and what should go. How does one get to this point? It’s really quite simple. Begin by letting go of the negative emotions and self-limiting beliefs that are causing you to be stuck in a victim mentality. The Sedona Method is a scientifically proven tool that will show you how to do this very naturally and it will become second nature.

The Sedona Method is unique in that it helps you get in touch with your natural ability to let go of any painful or unwanted feeling in the moment. We ALL have this ability, however so many of us are too bogged down by negative emotions to really use it. Once you ask yourself the series of questions that make up the Method, you will be able to release the need you once had to blame others and instead will take personal responsibility.

The best part is, once you FEEL you are in charge (instead of a victim), you will ACT like you are in charge, and your life will act accordingly. You will also find that you can easily adopt the following positive traits of people who take responsibility, including:

• Accepting when you’re wrong and apologizing
• Asking others for help when you need it
• Having empathy for others
• Admitting when you’ve made a mistake
• Forgiving others easily
• Being open-minded to the opinions of others
• Believing that your life is meant to be great

And remember, once you let go of self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviors with The Sedona Method, your life will be limitless in the happiness, health and wellbeing it will create for you and those around you.

Finding Your Amusement

By Gini Grey
http://www.success.com/articles/1623/finding_your_amusement

What makes you smile inside and out, tickles your funny bone, and brings you to bursts of laughter? We all know the benefits of laughter. It gets our energy flowing, massages our internal organs, boosts our immune system and most important, feels wonderful. So what gets in the way of being amused more often? Why don't we see the humour in everything instead of being easily irritated, annoyed, or frustrated?

We don't need something funny to happen to feel amused inside. People who breeze through life, slough off problems with ease, and accept life's ups and downs with a chuckle are living in a state of amusement. Just as the endless blue sky lies behind every cloud, a blanket of lightness lies behind each of our thoughts, perceptions and feelings. All we have to do is tune into it and turn up the volume.

Imagine what your life would be like if you approached each day, each person, each task and each problem from a lighter amused state. Would you enjoy your day more, relate better with others, move through your work easier and find more creative solutions? You bet! And now imagine the ripple effect this would have on your relationships, family, work, and beyond.

To find your amusement, reflect on the following:

* What is your default mood - the state of being you tend to live in on a regular basis? Do you operate from a stance of anger, depression, joy, victim-hood, amusement, peacefulness, fear or what? If you're not sure, ask yourself how your friends and family would generally describe you as this may give you an indication. Is this the default state you want? If not, what would you choose?

* Who or what controls your state or mood? Is it dependant on others around you, circumstance or do you bring forth your own true self no matter what is going on around you?

* What gets in the way of you being amused more often? What would you have to let go of in order to lighten up? What would you have to accept? What would your life be like if you had more amusement?

To increase your amusment, try the following:

* Many people are offended by many things and all this does is put them in a bad mood. You can choose to be amused instead of offended. The next time you are about to judge something or someone (including yourself) ask yourself how you want to feel. Then ask how you can view this person or situation in order to feel this way.

* Practice being in a state of amusement - it is a simple flow of energy that you can control. Imagine turning up a dial for amusement in your body. Let the energy of amusement vibrate through your whole body, inside and out. Imagine all of your cells are laughing with each other. Notice how you feel when you do this.

* Each day when you wake up set your intention to go through the day in a sate of amusement. If you find yourself getting off track into negativity, focus on the feeling of amusement again. If you need to, think of something funny to jump start this flow and let it grow from there. Notice how your life changes when you operate from a place of amusement.

Courage Prevails

Sit back and enjoy this modern day fairy tale written by Leedman

http://www.changeeverything.ca/user/leedman

Weary to the bones, feeling the heaviness and despair, the fatigue demands you to sit and breathe awhile. As you sit and withdraw within the burdened mind and heart, you pant for breath, for life to return. A gust of wind stirs and refreshes you momentarily, clearing away the dark thoughts of the day, the months, and the years, and you raise your head and eyes to observe.

"How did I not notice this?" you ask. Two paths open before you. One appears to lead down the same path life has been handing you the past 10 years. It doesn't feel right, it feels like a lie, like all smoke and mirrors. The other road is shrouded in mist, within a dark forest. Even so, off in the distance you see a speck of light, like a promise, of something that appeals to a deeper part of yourself.

You look again, at the foreboding dark forest, the mist, and wonder what lurks in the dark. Its' eeriness sends shivers and goose bumps crawling across your skin and through your bones. What surprises you is that the bones know, they know that this is your road, and one that you've passed many times before.

Finally, tired of the same repetitious path of life, the path that has lulled you into a slumber of pity, self-loathing, even longing, you find a spark within the heart that ignites a tiny spark in the belly, and then the head, and you know the adventure begins: The life you were born to live. All that needs to happen now is to turn towards the ominous and hopeful path of rightness, not familiarity, and to strike out on foot with courage.

For many, the piercing arrow of fear strikes to heart with its' ghost-like quality. The transparent, smoky, frail, and temporal arrow of fear relies on illusion to fool them and their ever-so intelligent mind that can never be wrong. As they turn away from the path of rightness, of their true life that they were born to live, fear returns to the dark woods as a whispery haunting laugh follows the blind back to the illusion of familiarity and security.

You remember this, how many times you glanced and walked on; how many times you stopped and longed; and you even have a vague recollection of having passed it without even noticing. No, the time has come, the pain of familiarity has made you too numb, and you long for life to seize your heart and start beating again with the joy of promise given to you as a child in the arms of the Supreme.

Checking in one more time, you feel the excitement build in the bones as the pilot lights sparked earlier fuel the passion to be alive and ride life. With nary a look back your heel strikes out and into the gloom of the dark forest, and the promise of that light off in the distant future. Inside the forest, you find the familiar surround you again, as the denseness of this familiar place brings memories, mistakes, missed opportunities, and the healing to let go.

This dark forest is love and loves you. The embrace is firm, cold, and yet bold. Welcoming each error of past misjudgment transforms you, empowers you, fuels you, heals you, and the forest urges you on as each barb yields to the beautiful rose. And one day, in the unknown distance of time, you step out fully into the brilliance of your authentic life upon the meadow of gaiety.

Dancing, singing, rejoicing you spin and turn and tumble with joy. After moments or hours, as time is no longer the prison it once was, you stand, exhausted with joy and delight and turn slowly absorbing the beauty that surrounds you. Gazing back along the road less traveled you see the path from the forest to discover the beauty in the tragedies and pain, as majestic Oaks, Maples, Firs, and so many more, tower to the sky with a firm strength that stands the test of time.

Bending to knee, falling forward, embracing the earth, and all your self-worth, you give thanks with tears and sobbing that releases the fullest joy imaginable. And the quiet voice of Love speaks into your heart, clearing your mind once again, and says, "Sweet child. I honor you. It was you who seized upon Courage and found Strength where I reside. It was you, My Delight, and you bring great Joy to My Heart, knowing that you have claimed this Gift of Life fully."

The bones speak again as the flesh is crawled with goose bumps and the rightness of the words sink into the flesh. Rolling over and sitting up, you lean back on your hands for a moment to gaze up into the blue wonder to ponder thanks. "My dear God," you say, "I have fought you, misunderstood you, and even abused you, yet you call me your delight. Thank-you for acknowledging that which is in me as you, and never, ever, giving up on me."

Regaining your feet, you feel the ground firmly beneath you like you've never felt it before. You feel the blood course through your veins with a fury of life that will never lay down again. You feel the gratitude and love of a heart that has swollen in proportion to ALL. And you forge on with a zest and appeal for experiencing joy that leaves your mouth watering, knowing that the path of rightness is your own and that goodness will always reign.

A ghost appears, ever so slightly, to pierce the truth with a nightmare of fear. And just as quickly, you turn one last time and remember what that forest has taught you. For all the mistakes, wrong turns, hurts of life, and damage caused to others, forgiveness and love have never left you, let you down, abandoned you, or held any grudges. It was you, it was fear, it can and has been let go, and firmly planted in the roots of majesty. You will prevail.

Find Your Authentic Self

By Elizabeth and Barbara Pagano, written for Pink Magazine online

For most of us, discovering the core of who we really are and what we want our lives to be is a more difficult task than getting an orchid to bloom a second time. It's an individual journey, and Bradd Shore, Ph.D., of Emory University suggests beginning by asking yourself:

• What gives my life meaning?
• What are my priorities?

The Payoffs

The late Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique rocked our world in the early 1960s, laying the groundwork for modern feminism. Friedan said women should aspire to their own identities as individuals and should answer the questions, "Who am I?" and "What do I want out of life?" More than 40 years later, the questions are more relevant than ever.

The struggle to express – let alone find – one's authentic self can be a complicated and individual journey. Beyond knowing and accepting thyself, one has to be skilled at expressing that truth, recognizing there might be a price to pay with either choice: the straight path of authenticity or the zigzag trail of situational roles, choosing behaviors that serve the moment.

In his new book, Covering: The Hidden Assault on Our Civil Rights (Random House, January 2006), Yale law professor Kenji Yoshino writes about women practicing what he calls "covering" – downplaying aspects of themselves (i.e., motherhood) they know may be viewed as less than acceptable in the workplace. Civil rights, he says, aren't just about your right to be yourself, but also your right to reveal yourself as you are. He believes that "covering" is the way that many groups are being held back today.

Counsel from Authentic Women

• "Don't be so afraid of standing out that you become invisible. I see far too many women being invisible. Yet being distinctive is an absolute career advantage." –Margaret Heffernan, author of The Naked Truth

• "Decide whether you're doing something to please yourself or to meet the expectations of your parents, your husband or society. Make decisions based on enduring values and what you want. Otherwise, it's like marrying the wrong guy." –Lynne Seid, former president of global advertising firm Foote Cone & Belding's New York office; founding partner, Visible World

• "If your style is validated either through your employees or your business results, then hold your ground. Obviously, there's merit in it." –Kathleen Holmgren, senior vice president and general manager of Sun Microsystems' $1 billion disk storage business

• "Organizations are beginning to realize the strength of what women bring to the table, and that they get to the table in a different way. Don't downplay who you are. Instead, leverage your unique qualities." –Debra Boblitt, a vice president with State Farm Insurance

• "Success is more attributable to making good choices rather than relying on momentum. If you're in a company where you're not being respected for your talents, go to another company." –Karen Steadman, Ph.D., vice president of a consulting firm

Why It’s Important to Follow Your Heart

By Hale Dwoskin, author of The Sedona Method and one of the 24 key teachers in the blockbuster book and film, The Secret.

There is a universal intelligence or knowingness in each and every one of us. When you are open to this intelligence of the heart, it guides you in the right direction to do what is best for you and those around you. Following this intuitive knowing attracts to you whatever you need as you need it. You find yourself having, being and doing whatever is right for you in the moment for your highest good.Your heart knows what actions are appropriate for you to take to attract to you what is appropriate for you. Your heart also knows when to give or act without wanting anything in return.Following your heart also feels great. There is an inner sense of peace and completion as well as love and compassion as you allow yourself to follow your heart. This feels so good it is often its own reward.

What if I Have Attempted to Follow My Heart Unsuccessfully?

Even though you have probably heard the advice “follow your heart” before you know it is not always as easy as it sounds.First of all, we have been programmed by society to believe in and trust our minds over our hearts, so we may not even try to follow the intelligence of the heart. In my experience this is a grave mistake. Our mind can only respond after the fact based on memory, while our heart – our intuitive knowing – is always in the now responding appropriately to what is actually going on.Even if we believe in the value of trusting the intuitive knowingness that flows from the heart, we can not always tell the difference between intuition and emotional reaction. They often can start out feeling the same.

The Way to Open Yourself to the Wisdom of the Heart

There is a simple yet powerful way for you to uncover your intuitive knowingness and follow your heart… Letting go! It is very simple. When you believe you are either being mislead by the mind or are not sure that gut sense you are experiencing is actually intuition, simply let go using The Sedona Method. If you let go and it is simply mental confusion or emotional reaction it will simply lessen as you let go and may even fully disappear. If it is a message from your heart – your own knowingness – it will simply get quieter and clearer as you let go. Now you know why Lester Levenson, the inspiration behind The Sedona Method, said “Intuition is only right 100% of the time.” He knew as you now do that if you let go of your reactions and trust the true messages of the heart you can not go wrong.Allow yourself to explore letting go instead of allowing your doubt or reactions to control you the next time you are attempting to know what to do. You will find yourself following your heart and naturally moving in the direction of attracting all that is for your highest good.Please let us know how following your heart is helping you achieve what you desire. Please also share this information with everyone you know

Why ACTION is The Most Relevant Beginning to Every Success Process

By Larry Tansinda

How often do you make plans and hope that God will help? The real truth is that we all wish and hope, but do we really believe we can attain what we wish and hope for? More often than not, as human beings, we run into different situations at different times and our wishes depend on what the reality of the situations is.

How many times are we in financial, emotional, family, health or any other not so good challenges and immediately wish and hope the situation was reversed? Challenges of any kind all call for the concept of taking ACTION.

ACTION in my opinion is doing whatever it takes within reason with the intention of achieving whatever you wish for yourself to alleviate a specific challenge you may be facing. Therefore, if you have an emotional, family, health or financial difficulty, there are a certain number of steps or processes required to get out of that situation. It is how you condition your mind that makes the biggest difference. The following constitute those steps necessary to bring about change.

- Belief
- Conviction
- Positive mindset
- Action

Belief: It is fair to say that when driving a car, you believe that when approaching a stoplight, all you have to do is step on the brake pedal and that will bring the motor vehicle to a halt. That belief is without a doubt because more often than not, it happens exactly as intended each time. You believe without a doubt that reading the owner’s manual of any equipment and using that equipment accordingly will give you the desired effect. Part of the reason why we do this is because we are relying on someone other than ourselves and tend to have more faith in others. Therefore, is it possible then to believe that the actions we take can really get us out of the challenges we face? The answer is a YES in my opinion, because whatever you believe in, can yield the fruits of your intention.

Conviction: Everyone has a certain conviction about what they do and believe in. In the same strand, if you are convinced that your actions will result in a certain outcome, you are already in the process of changing your situation. Considering that in life, there is always going to be a good and bad, love and hate, night and day, beginning and end etc as is defined in the law of Polarity, it only makes sense to maintain a strong conviction that your action will bring you the intended results despite all the odds. Focusing on that which you don’t want alternately doesn’t help your desires because you will only attract more of what you don’t want.

Positive mindset: How many times do we say, “I can’t do this or that,” or that “why am I wasting my time about this…” “…This person or that person tried and failed” etc , etc. We create these situations in our minds and rationalize why things are the way they are without changing. It is amazing why we are surprised thereafter! Do you realize it is easier to be negative than positive in life? If you make a conscious effort to see something positive out of every situation, as time progresses, you will live a life of always attracting the positive things and thoughts.

Action: If you believe, and are convinced or maintain a positive mind set, you still have to begin an action process to complete the journey. Action means that you face the challenge truthfully even if it is embarrassing or difficult, seek the necessary steps through specific actions and before long, you will see results. Therefore, if you have a financial challenge, take steps such as documenting where you are spending money and cut down on your expenses, get a second job to pay down debt, stop eating out etc, etc. When you start doing these things, the combination of believing, conviction and having a positive mindset will generate the right thoughts in your endeavor and as a result attract the right directives which will eventually conquer whatever it is you are trying to change.

If on the other hand, you have an unpleasant job situation, instead of negatively complaining and getting all bitter about everything others are doing, start taking action. Use the ingredients (BCPA) and design an exit strategy for yourself. It could be more education, learning a new skill or talking to someone who has or is where you want to be.

You may not see these results immediately, but I can testify for a fact that being consistent and focused on BCPA will ultimately get you there.

How many people have bothered to ask why so many immigrants to the United States have been able to within 2 – 5 years upon arrival achieve what so many are still struggling to have despite the same or better opportunities? It is not all about luck. It is consciously or unconsciously adapting a BCPA strategy. What about babies growing up? Some decide to walk in 7 or 8 months while others go for up to 14 months. It comes down to believing it can be done. When you watch babies attempting to walk, you can see the determination in their demeanor and know this is something they want to do themselves. Think about the first time your child decided to ride a bicycle without training wheels. The same principle holds true if we need to get out of uncomfortable situations.

Change is a necessary deviation from our comfort level and if you have to become something different from what you are used to, it is necessary to face your fears, believe in yourself like you do your car, then act.

Remember that the Universe is everything and therefore you are protected within that universe because you are part of it. What it really takes is your mind and how you control it. Positive thoughts will attract positive outcomes. In fact, your mind is like a computer, it will pull files that are stored in it. If you have positive files only those will be retrieved when you do a search. Similarly, if you have only negative files (thoughts), the mind has no choice but to pull from that data source.

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