Why Taking Responsibility is the Most Important Step to Your Health and Well-Being

By Hale Dwoskin, New York Times Best-Selling author of The Sedona Method, and co-author of the best-selling Happiness Is Free (five-book series) is the CEO and Director of Training of Sedona Training Associates and anxiety expert. He is also one of the 24 featured teachers of the book and movie phenomenon, The Secret.

There is something that great leaders, respected mentors and those people who always seem to be happy have in common, and that’s something called personal responsibility. People who accept responsibility, embrace it even, are inevitably those who are admired, who are independent and who ultimately persevere. These are the people who admit when they’ve made a mistake, apologize when it’s necessary, and, above all else, take the “blame” for how their life is, for good and for bad.

Admittedly, the prospect of taking responsibility can be scary. After all, who wants to be held accountable if things go awry? In reality, though, the very act of NOT taking responsibility will leave you much worse off than the alternative, and here’s why: Only when you take responsibility -- for your health, your mindset, your happiness and your life -- will you be able to achieve your dreams.

You Make Choices, and Your Choices Have Consequences

Consider it from a child’s perspective. A primary thing parents teach their children is to have responsibilities, everything from doing their homework or household chores to treating their classmates with kindness. If something goes wrong, such as forgetting to do a homework assignment or talking behind a friend’s back, there are consequences and (and this is the important part) the child is held accountable.

For every choice you make, there is a consequence. Taking responsibility means that you acknowledge your role in the chain of events, you have a good idea why it happened, and you know what to do to change your actions (or how to keep them as they are) in the future to get your desired outcome.

The “Victim” Mentality

People who frequently shirk responsibility often fall into a “victim” mentality. It is everyone’s fault that they are not happy (not getting a promotion, not succeeding in their marriage, not getting to appointments on time, etc.) -- except for their own. Surely, there will be times when things are not your fault, and you may even be thinking of some of those times right now (such as “But I DID lose the promotion because my boss chose to promote his brother instead … ”). But taking responsibility does not mean you are always at fault, only that you acknowledge your part and let it go (meaning you do not perpetually blame others).

Those who have succumbed to the victim mentality, however, often exhibit the following characteristics:

• You believe you’re unlucky, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

• You think you are pretty much always right (and others would concur that you believe this).

• You rarely, if ever, apologize.

• You often feel sorry for yourself.

• You believe if others are acting poorly, you can too (i.e., “If Bob comes in late every day, why can’t I?”)

What you’ll notice about these characteristics is that they’re surrounded by negativity. And, in fact, people who don’t take responsibility are often harboring this negativity in themselves -- in the form of sadness, hopelessness, anger, depression, anxiety, fear, guilt, insecurity and a host of other negative emotions.

Over time, and even in the short-term, holding on to such negative thoughts can lead to chronic stress and, from there, chronic disease.

Ready to Take Responsibility? Here are the Steps You Need to Take

The great thing about taking responsibility is that it opens the door to anything you want. You get to decide what in your life you want to keep and what should go. How does one get to this point? It’s really quite simple. Begin by letting go of the negative emotions and self-limiting beliefs that are causing you to be stuck in a victim mentality. The Sedona Method is a scientifically proven tool that will show you how to do this very naturally and it will become second nature.

The Sedona Method is unique in that it helps you get in touch with your natural ability to let go of any painful or unwanted feeling in the moment. We ALL have this ability, however so many of us are too bogged down by negative emotions to really use it. Once you ask yourself the series of questions that make up the Method, you will be able to release the need you once had to blame others and instead will take personal responsibility.

The best part is, once you FEEL you are in charge (instead of a victim), you will ACT like you are in charge, and your life will act accordingly. You will also find that you can easily adopt the following positive traits of people who take responsibility, including:

• Accepting when you’re wrong and apologizing
• Asking others for help when you need it
• Having empathy for others
• Admitting when you’ve made a mistake
• Forgiving others easily
• Being open-minded to the opinions of others
• Believing that your life is meant to be great

And remember, once you let go of self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviors with The Sedona Method, your life will be limitless in the happiness, health and wellbeing it will create for you and those around you.